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Funny jokes sms 1 -
Hell
A young lady comes home from a date and is rather sad.
“What’s wrong?” asks her mother.
“O, Tony proposed to me an hour ago.”
“Then why are you so sad?” asks her mum.
“Because he’s an atheist and doesn’t want a church wedding. He doesn't even believe
there's a Hell!”
“Marry him anyway.” The mother replies. “I’m sure we'll be able to change his mind on
that!”
Funny jokes sms 2 -
Young woman
A young woman is having a physical examination and was embarrassed because of a
weight problem. As she removed her knickers she blushes. “I'm so ashamed, Doctor,” she
says, “I guess I let myself go.”
While the physicians checks hers eyes and ears he says, “Don't feel ashamed Miss. You
look fine.”
“Do you really think so?" she asks.
The doctor holds a tongue depressor in front of her face and says, “Of course. Now
open your mouth and say moo.”
Funny jokes sms 3 -
Psychic phenomena.
A professor is lecturing his students on psychic phenomena. As part of the talk he gives
details about a woman who contacts the police working on a missing-persons case. “She
gives an amazingly detailed description of where to find the body,” the professor says.
“In fact, the detectives find the body just as she’s described it. Now who can tell me
what that kind of person is called?”
While most of the students ponder the question a hand is quickly raised and a reply
given, “Professor. A suspect!”
Funny jokes sms 4 -
Four senior guys are golfing
Four senior guys are playing golf.
“These hills are getting steeper as the years go by,” one complains.
“Yea, and these fairways are getting longer too,” says one of the others.
“The bunkers are a lot bigger than I remember them as well!" says the third senior.
After hearing his mates complaining, the oldest of the four in his seventies, pipes up and
says, “Guys, just be thankful we're still on the right side of the grass!”
Funny jokes sms 5 -
Making Babies
An eight year old comes home from school and says to her mother, “Mum, Guess what?
We learned how to make babies today.”
The mother, a little surprised, asks fearfully, “That’s interesting and how do you make
babies?”
“It’s simple,” replies the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘ies’.”
Funny jokes sms 6 -
TV Remote
While waiting in supermarket checkout queue, I noticed that the woman in front of me
fumbling in her handbag for her purse. As she rummaged in the bag a TV remote feel
out. Picking it up for the flustered lady I asked, “Do you always carry your TV remote?”
“No,” she replied, “my husband refused help me with the shopping with me, so I figure
this was the best way to make sure he gets some exercise.”
Funny jokes sms 7 -
What a Turkey
A lady is looking at the frozen turkeys in a supermarket. She can’t find one that’s big
enough for her family so she asks a kid that’s stocking shelves, “Do these turkeys get
any bigger?”
The kid replies, “No love, they stop growing when they're dead!”
